it's all happening

So already it seems that I've not been updating as much as I probably should be. I just have to remember to fit this into my daily routine so it becomes habit I guess. I'm also thinking I should write a bit about myself since I think that I've changed a lot during the past few years. To start, I just finished my second year of college and though I'm at a junior level in credits I don't feel like one at all. I don't really have an idea of what I'm going to major in which is kind of a concern because I'm sort of stuck and I feel like I can't go forward without knowing where I'm going. I'm interested in going into Graphic Design but being an art major may be too much for me. As far as a career goes, I want to be a surgeon. So I'm half way done with the Pre-Med track but just like that art major, I'm not sure if I could cut it. These are the main reasons that I feel make me unmotivated to go to school because I waste time and money trying to figure it all out.

I've been dating my boyfriend Jesse for about 7 months now. We met at our job which was alittle weird but we've realized that we work well together. He's by far the longest and best relationship that I've ever been in. From the beginning he broke all the rules from not having a weird name to being a white boy with red hair and freckles. I guess he's yet to break my curse because frankly, I didn't think he'd still be in my life and now that my birthday's coming up...eek! I guess we'll see. We pretty much live together, meaning he stays at my place every night of the week but I won't allow him to help me with rent or utilities because I think that would mean we would really be living together. Really living together would complicate things if we ever broke up or started fighting and I feel like I would be jinxing our relationship. I'm really scared of full on commitment and I'm bad at relationships..obviously. We disagree a lot, but he's the one that will deal with my ridiculous mood swings, build me a desk because I have no money to buy one, still think I'm beautiful with no makeup on, hold me all night while we sleep, and kiss me when I'm crying. I'm completely in love with him.

Currently, I work at the new Skybox location that just opened. I hate it there. The job isn't so bad but I've discovered that they don't value their employees. In the process of opening the new store, the manager, Jeff, wanted a couple experienced hosts to go with him. This would mean Jesse and I since every other host would not drive all the way to South Jordan. At the time, I asked for a raise and was pretty much turned down in the end. I feel like I am being taken advantage of because I still get paid 8 an hour even on the weekends and I've worked there for close to a year. I also played a role in helping to open the restaurant. The least I was expecting was weekend pay since I've pretty much worked every weekend since I started there but that was not done either. So now I am stuck there until I find another job. I hope to get one at the hospital and I've already applied so I'm now waiting to hear if I get an interview or not. This waiting stresses me out and affects me deeply because I put in most of my hours a week into Skybox and I don't make enough in the end to justify my time or effort. Seriously could you survive off of 200 dollars a week with bills to be paid?

I just got two cats. Lucius is a black cat who's about a year old. He was found outside by this lady so no one really knows where he came from. He's really sweet and mellow and he loves to snuggle with you. He was also the first one I adopted. Hero,named after Hero of the Greek myth Hero and Leander, is a 4 month old, fluffy orange tabby. She was shaved like a lion and now that her fur is starting to grow back she looks like a big puff ball. I named her Hero because the character Hero is the only woman in a Greek myth that has a pivotal role in the story. Most other women are just background characters and I thought that was pretty interesting. Hero loves q tips and there have been a number of times when I have come home to find all my q tips on the floor chewed up. She purrs ridiculously loud but it is the most adorable thing ever. Lucius and Hero used to fight but with some extra care and time they've been much better. I've yet to leave them alone together all day but that would be the next step. It's such a process. I treat my cats like they're my kids because I'm completely taken by them, it's a little embarassing.
At the end of last year, I read a book called Skinny Bitch. Since January 1st I've been a strict vegetarian. I'm hoping to become vegan but that process is a little bit more diffcult because it drastically limits your food choices and I'm still trying to develop my tastes so my diet doesn't cause me to be unhealthy. I don't eat anything with meat in, on, or made from it. Soup has to be made from vegetable stock or I won't drink it. Occasionally I eat fish because it's extremely healthy for you but I still hope to limit that. I don't drink milk or eat yogurt and I'm also trying to stay off dairy based ice cream so these days I'm buying alot of soy. The only thing that stands in my way of being a vegan is cheese. For some reason I can't stop eating cheese it's ridiculous. I've developed a hobby for vegan baking however and I absolutely love it. It's easier almost and the recipes turn out even better. I've learned that all it is is substitutions so even recipes that were originally non-vegan can be converted. I totally have a sweet tooth and before, desserts would make me feel sick after I ate them but with vegan desserts you don't get that sick feeling after even if you've eaten alot. I choose to be a vegetarian because of all of the harmful things that they inject into the meat that is poison to your body. Most animal meat is diseased and pumped full of hormones to make them grow bigger, which by eating a piece of steak, you ultimately ingest. The abuse of animals being raised for food is not the main issue for me although it is terrible but I don't believe not eating meat will stop it. I basically do it for health reasons and at first I was skeptical because I've eaten meat all of my life and I loved a good steak once in awhile but it really has made me feel a lot better and even lose some weight. Honestly, it's not as hard as it seems.

Wow, I didn't think I would end up writing this much but there has been a lot of change. It's nice to write about it, it kind of puts things in perspective. So now that's basically the jist of my life. Right now I'm working on building a bike which I'm excited for, I've postponed my moving till the end of the summer, I've started reading again, and I'm still addicted to craigslist. Even just writing this I can't believe how different I sound. We'll see how this summer goes, maybe things will get less complicated, but that's doubtful.